You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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