But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
