i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize