you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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