just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
