There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
