The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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