this beer tastes like vomit already
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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