He is like the real live version of the state fair..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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