weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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