I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
