Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Randomize
