I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Everything about him screamed your future.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
