Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You may now shotgun with the bride
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
