she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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