"it" just moved
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
