you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize