How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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