Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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