He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
