I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
