I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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