youre lurking in front of me
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
