He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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