did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
