Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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