I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
