That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
