Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize