Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
