Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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