I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
