She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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