Jerry, you need to find god
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
