i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
