Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
