Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
