i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
