Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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