Plan B is the new Plan A
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
