Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
