Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
