The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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