I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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