Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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