I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
there was a trapeze. enough said
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
its liver damage thursday
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
