chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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