so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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