its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
