Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
