One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
