you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
