they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
