Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have grass duct taped all over my body
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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