So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
