I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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