I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize