I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
