he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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