I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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