woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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