Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
People with herpes should wear stickers.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
