I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
