In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
