so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
