hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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