i don't like sucking hair
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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