Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
