i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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