tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize