i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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