with your own penis?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
