we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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