Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he puts the penis in happiness.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
