Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
