He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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