He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
