there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
