OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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