I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
