I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
