The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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