her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need to align my fucking chakras
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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