people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
