An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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