I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
